The question we tend to ask ourselves often is "Why are they fighting?", Many parents ask what to do with the feeling that something is wrong, our children fight and jealous each other. If we look at the situation in an objective eye, our children have all reasons to fight and jealous. Brothers forced to share everything - Territory, toys, quality time with parents. Resource that exists at all. They have all the reasons therefore, to be jealous and fight. This is a little similar to the house where there are few women to the same owner (or a few men the same woman) Do they not envy each other? Brothers can not choose or decide if they want a new brother. We set them. Most of us, since pregnancy, imagine how our children will be best friends. Fantasy that children will be best friends creates a difficulty for many of us. Fantasies should stay on the side. This is the real life! How all this can reduce the jealousy and fighting between brothers and create a better atmosphere in the house? • Do not create competition between the children - although we live in a very competitive achievements. Better yet it's important to keep the competitiveness between the children out of the house. Even innocent phrases like - "Who comes first to the bathroom" or "Who fasten his seat belt first in the car," the leading competition. Try to counteract the sense of competition at home. • Do not compare the children - not even during the anger and not to stimulate them. It is important that every child find his own special place. Phrases like "Look how your sister is organized" or "Why can't you behave like your brother" do not lead anywhere good. The feeling that they should strive for their place encourages Jealousy and fights. • Try not tag - Sometimes we have good intention and we tag the children in a positive way - "He is the mathematician of the family", "She is our model." Again we create a situation in which children need to keep the place. The concern that maybe the little baby of the family will be the mathematician instead of me and the question what is my place - just this taged place is not healthy. And though many do when the children? There is a saying that we shouldn't interfere with our children's interest rates. I do not know many parents who can not intervene on the side when the children are mad and fighting. Sometimes this advice is correct, As long as this is a small fights, Let them handle their own. It is important for them to have a place to fight and negotiate and know that we rely on them, is also important. violence fights should be stopped immediately. One way is to try to send each to a different place, but not to ignore the opponent. Try to summon the children at a later stage (as far as small children call time should be close to) and hear from them what they experienced and how they think they can solve the problem. It is important not to be judges and not to decide or resolve the conflicts. Last step - Pay attantion to when they are fighting? Maybe in the car on the way to Grandma when they are borred? Maybe in the restaurant when they finish their food? Or maybe you just around to demand attention? The timing of the tiff has a meaning and sometimes the solution is through the observation. | ||
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